Attachment, Bonding, Connection

The ABC’s of Love

When a baby comes into the world he looks around to learn how to function as a human and to get a picture of who he is.  The experiences he has with caring individuals, his parents and others, contributes to the picture he will carry inside of himself.  This picture of being lovable and valuable will influence him all his life and he will begin to build on these experiences as he grows and builds other relationships.  ATTACHMENTS, BONDS, AND CONNECTIONS BEGIN IN INFANCY AND QUALITY EXPERIENCES CAN ASSIST ONE’S EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL WELL-BEING FOR LIFE.

Here are some simple, effective ideas for building ABC’s with your child at all ages of development:

• Watch! Watch! Watch!  You may be amazed at the ways your baby can communicate with you and what you can learn just by watching.
• With changing moods and rhythms, babies are not always easy to read.  But by watching and changing the ways you respond, you will learn to recognize what your baby needs to be calm and happy.
• Despite the fact that babies can’t speak, they have many ways of letting you know how they feel.  By looking into your face, grasping your finger for security, turning their heads when they have had enough, crying when they are very distressed, they are communicating to you.
• Answer your child’s cries and calls for care.
• Hold your baby while feeding and use a baby sling or other similar carrier that allows your baby to be close to you.
• Avoid extensive use of convertible car seats, swings, and playpens which separate you from your child. 
• YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY BY RESPONDING AND CARING FOR THEM BUT YOU CAN BUILD THE ABC’S WHILE DOING SO

A secure attachment with primary caregivers is regarded as the most important developmental task of infancy.  A child who is secure in having her needs met will be more willing to explore their social and physical environment and to develop a sense of competency.  Conversely, children with insecure attachments learn that their needs will not be met and their lack of trust in others and themselves impairs their ability to explore the world around them.